I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
