I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
