quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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