god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
