I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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