Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
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