1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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