Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
