mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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