u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
