Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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