Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
