do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
