I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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