I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
