I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Randomize
