her vagine was all disorganized.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize