this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
