you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
