we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize