her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
COCAINE IS GR8
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
