I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
