I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize