you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I fill condoms, not promises.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize