My nipple is on Facebook.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
