My friends, they love my intelligence
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Randomize
