Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize