ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
