I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
