I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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