everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
