She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
