I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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