how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize