Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
They took my balls.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
