apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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