Sponge bath it is.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
