I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
