if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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