Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
