I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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