Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You took a bar mat shot.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
