I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
