I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
