Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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