Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
