Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
