Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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