i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
