I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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