There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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