We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
