He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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