Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
