foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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