Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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