I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
