in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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