i think i have herpe
just one?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
