I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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