At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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