That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
