Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Panties = found
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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