please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
