so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
