Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
