Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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