feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
