so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
