That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
