Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize