yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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