Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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